Inside an Armoured Car

Things can get a bit tense where I live (Burundi), so our office has a couple of armoured Toyotas that we use when entering sensitive areas of the country or when trying to protect a VIP diplomat or the like.

One car was done by Toyota and the other was a local job. Both are unwieldy beasts that encourage the driver to simply take the risk rather than put up with a 0-60 time close to a minute. Neither car allows for the windows to be rolled down nor do they permit particularly decent visibility. Still, it's kinda of cool knowing that you might actually survive a rocket attack whilst cruising around the countryside in these things.

photo: not a tank but a modified Toyota Land Cruiser complete with double latching doors...it's stuffy in there.

Oh How I Love a Good 4x4

After driving around in an extremely plasticky, ultra low performance, horrifically un-cool Toyota Corolla estate, I'm as pleased as punch to find myself now in a beefy new Toyota Hilux. Even though it's already been dented, side-swiped and t-boned, not to mentioned used for "beyond spec" haulage, it gets me through any rough road I can throw at it.

These new models have auto locking hubs as well so you just flick the 4x4 lever into high 4 or low 4 and away you go. Quite a far cry from my Pajero days when I would often get soaked or muddy while exiting the car to manually lock the hubs. I also feel, um, quite manly in the Hilux compared to cruising around in the Corolla. The best bit is the noise of that raucous V-6 and did I mention the torque? Stunning!

Yes, I know I just wrote about the poor quality of Toyotas and yes, the Corolla is part of the bad bunch but the Hilux is that rare exception...make more like this please.

photo top: just look at that butch nose

photo bottom: rather nice and funky interior...quite modern as well

Toyotas Have Sucked for Quite Some Time Actually

The recent spate of recalls from Toyota due to a dangerously sticky accelarator pedal hasn't surprised me really. I've been noticing a decline in the quality of their vehicles for quite some time now. I take the example of my '98 Toyota Camry, a car that had Japanese technology but which was actually manufactured in Alabama.

It was a nice enough car but suffered from faulty strut mounts. The first time they became worn, I replaced them but less than a year later, they became worn again and were covered under warranty. It was obvious there was a fault as I had read similar complaints on Camry forums. I even wrote the company pleading for them to consider a recall but by then, the model had quietly phased into the background in favor of the new fancy 2000 Camry.

Since then, I've noticed that most Toyota models have been quite lackluster compared to other cars yet, they maintained that solid repuation as being ultra reliable. True, I think the engines are quite impressive if underperforming. But take the example of the brand spanking new Corolla that I'm driving now. To be kind, it's a piece of junk. The interior is plastic hell, the engine is remarkably asthmatic and the supension will make you sea sick.

Granted, it's a Corolla, not exactly one of Toyota's more emotional models but compare it to the same type of entry model Honda or Mazda or even the new Hyundais (yes I said Hyundai). Those cars are far more exciting to be in and offer punchy, trim engines and a decent driving experience, nothing like you would find in any lower end Toyota.

Now, there are exceptions, the Toyota Hilux (Tacoma) is one of the greatest cars of all time. The Land Cruiser is legend and Lexus (Toyota's luxury division) makes some stunning cars (IS-F). But Toyota needs to extend that same standard to all of its models and step up their game. I believe there is an old saying, "It takes years to build up a good reputation but only a day to ruin it".

photo: the unfortunate end to my Camry but nothing to do with quality, it was a deer. Yes it was beige, don't laugh.

Fifth Gear: Web TV - Jenson Button vs Tiff Needell

Wow, my favorite car TV presenters with my favorite F1 driver, what more could one ask for? Pleased to note Jenson is also a snappy dresser.

New Mini Countryman

I've been eyeing the Mini SUV concepts for quite some time now and just knew the finished product was going to be great. The newly unveiled Countryman doesn't disappoint. In fact, it's actually less cutesy Mini and more butchy SUV if you ask me.

This little baby will be launched in the US in 2011 with a choice of two engines but the UK gets to browse five little motors with a diesel option of course. Hey, I'll take the two choices thanks but would definitely go for the larger version which powers the 4-wheel drive (there is a choice of 2 or 4 wheel drive).

I'll leave the techy bits to MotorTrend as I would much rather focus on that gorgeous body. It's got Beyonce beefy haunches with a Scarlett Johansson sensual face (had to add some bit of crassness). The best bit is that it wouldn't attract snickers from hardcore SUV enthusiasts but rather, a second glance and perhaps a shrug of respect. You see, the Countryman has more of an aggressive stance compared to the charming, if not feminine, presence of a base Mini Cooper.

Of course, it will be customizable ad naseum and that's what makes Minis amazing. In short...I want!

Nice Car oh Wait - It's Chinese

We were zipping along through the Central African countryside these past few days with this nice black, mid-size SUV blazing a path for us. For once in my long, car-loving life, I could not recognize the make or model. From the rear, it looked like a jacked up Honda CRV and from the side, a Mitsubishi. Finally, as I was able to catch up with it and snap a photo, I recoiled in horror as I realized the car was Chinese.

Granted, it's a pretty car but as usual, this black beast represented China's best efforts at copying others. This is not the first time I've ranted on this topic but I'm getting more and more irritated at these cars squeezing there way into markets where regulation is a suggestion at best. This car is from Great Wall Motors and I've had the unfortunate pleasure to see them displayed at some Asian car shows. Keep in mind, all Chinese cars are banned from Europe, not due to trade restriction but for safety. The same applies in the US.

Granted again, the cars look ok but I would never put my family in them based on many public crash test results which exposed their design flaws. I know I know, China will eventually make a decent car that can be sold world wide but at what cost? The obvious disregard for human safety, not only in the car industry, but from many products coming out of China is staggeringly disturbing. Listen China, study the industry, don't copy it. Spend a bit more and put safety into your products, your people will thank you for it. For those that import these sub-par machines, same applies to you buddy!

photo: Burundi says oh yes, we'll take'em!

3,000 Mile Road Trip

I recently completed a Christmas road trip that took me through 8 states in the span of 9 days. I put more than 3,000 miles on my little Mazda 3 and re-established an enormous appreciation of the United States in the process. Nothing can beat the smooth open highways of Virginia or Tennessee's rolling hillsides. We started in Maryland and went all the way to Texas with a detour through Kentucky and West Virginia on the way back. The best part of any road trip however, is the people you meet along the way.

I recall dining at an Arkansas Cracker Barrel restaurant and dealing with a ridiculously friendly waitress who more than earned her tip. Later that night, we were forced to abandon the highway due to severe rain and an upcoming ice storm. I knew this, not only from my Android smart phone weather channel app, but from a friendly, coffee-sipping state trooper at a road-side stop who warned a couple of us drivers that the Interstate was closed about 100 miles south.

At the same stop, I chatted with a fella who claimed to have driven an '85 Chevrolet pick-up from New York without stopping for sleep. He was heading to Las Vegas and planned to push through the bad weather. My little compact Mazda seemed terribly urban compared to his ride and to the massive trucks that took up the majority of the parking lot yet, I knew I was probably more comfortable inside with my mp3 player and telescopic steering.

Further into Texas, you simply cannot help but greet everyone you see and discuss your travels with other fellow voyagers such is the nature of my home state. Texas is just friendly and that's how we are and we genuinely want to know how "yer doin". An older couple just couldn't get over how cute our daughter was and we all remarked upon the hideously cold weather in Texarkana.

This was the first long road trip on which I used a GPS. I was simply blown away at how easy it was to find the next gas station or fulfill a Starbuck's craving by simply searching for the next establishment via the push of a few buttons. I felt super high tech yet, recalled the days when I did the same thing with a simple atlas. Now, I had the GPS plus my Android phone so not only did I know exactly where I was at all times, I also knew the weather and the fact that Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky...cool.

The most pleasant surprise was adding two new states to my repertoire; Kentucky and West Virginia. Both turned out to be beautiful and nothing beat the sensation of cruising through West Virginia at night in extreme fog and rain. As scary as it was, I was in a state of bliss testing the Mazda's fog lights, defroster and ultra efficient wipers (aftermarket).

My family was with me as well and they took the whole trip in stride. I was extremely grateful to NOT have been anywhere near an airport as the weather was causing massive delays throughout the country. When you are driving, you simply need to pull off the road if things get bad. I'm telling you, put me in a car any day compared with the hassles of flying. If only there was a decent way to drive to Africa.

top photo: it may be small but the Mazda 3 is comfy, roomy, smooth and fast

middle photo: don't get behind one of these in the rain
bottom photo: that's how we techies do it, no matter how tacky the dash gets